Bromos Go Modern

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This blog has been a great pleasure to write and create, but this Bromo has officially put BSW on haitus until further notice in order to work on his new blog ModernMo.com, a blog about travel, culture, and philanthropy for youth. Check us out!! You can even check out our archives for fun bromo stuff :)

“Fat.” Yeah, I said it.

Owning It

More…

Ta-ta for now. Stay brilliant, stay bromo, Go Modern.

Bromo Across the Board: MARVELous DC Publishing

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“He’s someone you would want to watch over your children,” Robinson said of *@&#. “Presenting that kind of a heroic role model hopefully will be a good thing and help to show gays in a positive light for people who might be a little more small-minded.”

Can’t figure out who’s being referred to? Well, random nonsensical characters tend to do that. But this Bromo isn’t cruel, so here are some hints:

  1. He’s represented by the color green.
  2. His logo is a lantern. That’s green.

Figured it out? If not, it’s the original Green Lantern, Alan Scott! Today (June 1) is the day that the Green Lantern was re-conceptualized as being gay, amongst other DC universe changes: Superman is no longer married to Lois Lane, a criminal organization is operating in Gotham City (if not running it entirely) without Batman’s knowledge, etc. Here’s the rest of the story.

Now that that’s done with, let’s figure out what this means for the Green Lantern. Being gay-ified, will he become the Pink Lantern? Will his skin-tight costume become any tighter? (Please, please, please say yes!) Will his baking skills increase tenfold? When in the bar, will his wingman actually be a woman named Giulia who’s a sassy, hot Italian with a penchant for boosting the confidence of her gay boys and getting them to play nice with others? … Slightly serious about that last one.

At any rate, this represents a new face on an old race. The Race for Representation among comic titles is now entering its Queer phase. Whereas the hot topic was the inclusion of African-Americans during the Civil Rights era and the anti-discriminatory messages post-9/11 concerning Arabs and Muslims, the messages that “Gay is OK” are saturating the pages of comics like never before. And whether it’s profit-driven or not, I salute both Marvel and D.C. for their taking steps to be socially responsible media producers. And speaking of Marvel, did you know that Northstar is getting married?

Our bromo Northstar of the X-Men, the hot Canadian Jean-Paul Beaubier, is getting married on June 27, 2012! And to those who aren’t with the times, Northstar isn’t getting gay-married, he isn’t getting a civil union, he’s getting married! His partner, Kyle Jinadu, is Northstar’s brand manager and now fiancé, ever since Northstar rescued the kidnapped Jinadu from some baddies. Spectators predict a relationship filled with complications, based on the fact that Beaubier is a mutant and Jinadu is a baseline human, but they’ve agreed to meet on common ground since neither can gain much traction in the other’s social sphere. This Bromo sees a beautiful life ahead for the two lovebirds.

In order to RSVP and secure your spot at the wedding, you can pick up a copy of Astonishing X-Men (#51) when it’s published! I can hear the bells, can you?

Bromo Say Psychic?!

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The best part about being a bromo is probably the psychic abilities. While the occasional ability to pass for straight shapshift or vent angrily breath fire does pop up frequently, it’s the psychic arsenal that finds itself the most prized power play. Among our psychic powers is mind reading, mind-to-mind communication, mental command, time manipulation, seduction, confusion, and the like. I mean, it’s not like we’re not scanning your whole history while we pretend to be on the phone with our besties.

Mind Reading
We know what you’re thinking before you acknowledge it, and while that dumb look crosses your face as you consider what it would be like to have your nasty way with us. The bromo doesn’t even have to try with some people, they just shout their thoughts outloud as if their brains had a little megaphone. When you think we’re just standing around all model-esq as a form of power play, in actuality, we are focusing all of our attention on diving into the depths of your past, figuring out what makes you tick, and then judging the best way to approach you—if you past our first tests.

By the same token, we’re also doing a risk analysis: Does the fact that you don’t make up your bed in the morning an indication that you are sloppy, or too ambitious to pay attention to the small things? And because mind reading won’t get us everywhere necessarily, we have to use our other psychic abilities.

Mind-to-Mind Communication
Everybody talks to themselves in their minds. It’s how we run over thoughts or choose courses of action. When the bromo engages in mind-to-mind, it’s for one of two things: low-down gossip, or sly infiltration. Basically, it’s a story time without having to go anywhere. Using this form of communication, bromos share answers during tests that are ridiculously unfair difficult, discuss the proper ass-to-waist ratio while sitting in the pews at the silent church, or cutting down some rude bitch who happens to have more authority than both bromos combined. It’s not necessary, but the natural inclination for the bromo is to make eye contact that the outsider knows is meaningful, but can’t decipher. Another bromo might be able to hack into the wavelength, but woe betide the poor non who lights aflame the ire of a bromo scorned in the presence of others.

As far as usage for infiltration, the bromo gets all up in your head. He’s the voice pretending to be yours when you aren’t sure if you should get yogurt or ice cream. You know for certain that you wanted ice ceram in the beginning, but the little insistence that you get yogurt that eats away at you until you’re in front of the fro-yo place is deafening. And it doesn’t let up. The bromo also uses this power to stop you from making a move you’ll regret. He’s your best friend’s ex! Don’t do it! Like the little angel on your shoulder, the bromo’s got your back—especially when it comes to whose back you should have.

Mental Command
This is a power that the bromo should really cultivate more instead of focusing on the moral ethics of it. If you’ve ever seen a group of potential gay bashers suddenly get a sense of morality and back off, or a bartender give an extra shot of rum to a bromos cocktail when he hasn’t even flirted with him yet, you’ve witnessed this power in play. It’s often not used to its full potential because the evil Order of the Status Quo knows that same-sex relationships and transgender identity rights would gain full acceptance if they don’t continue to use the media to oppress us. They do everything in their power to keep our self-confidence minimal. Not ironically, it is self-confidence that is necessary to make this particular power work. Coincidence? How are you going to control someone if you can’t even control yourself? You must own yourself!

In recent years, as our confidence grows and our community, so does our ability to come together and affirm each other, allowing our abilities to flourish. Do you think all of those senators and governors agreed to support our rights on their own? Nope. Our on-the-go forceful acceptance therapy delightful persuasion had to strike the right chords. There are some who are seemingly impervious to our abilities, but as we grow, so will our mental command powers and our rights.

But on the less political side, we have been able to use this wonderful gift to make certain lawmakers act on their natural urges in order to create scandals nationwide. Since mental command can’t make someone do anything they would not naturally do, bromos claim a victory.

Time Manipulation
Cher wasn’t making things up when she sang If I could turn back time—she was yearning for the power that her bromo followers had. While we can’t actually turn back time (though the more powerful among us can), we can manipulate our mind into vibrating at a higher frequency so that we are essentially going 120 down an empty highway instead of staying on the same path as everyone else. With this ability, the bromo can eat lunch, read his favorite blog, do his homework, set up three back-to-back dates because he’s not at the commitment stage yet, call his mom to pick up his new Flamenco boots, and hook up with his friends for coffee all before time to go to the Lady Gaga concert and the Rihanna CD signing seemingly simultaneously.

The bromo can do all of this without the help of Adderall because he’s so used to having to multitask holding the camera while making sure the lighting reflects off of him well enough so that it looks like an authentic sex tape so that he can get on that new reality show. Also, he has a history of being around royalty (if he himself is not a queen) and can manage their schedules like nobody’s business. The bromo is a hot mess, but he looks good while doing it and he has 48 hours per day to get it right.

Confusion
The bromo’s final psychic power (listed here, that is) is the confusion blast. The bromo, through his slick talk and cunning, can create a bomb of confusion in the minds of anybody who thinks they know him. It can manifest as him being “the goth one” and then suddenly being all sunshine and dolphins and shit, stealing your boyfriend from right under you, and obtaining your parent’s approval to legally own you without you knowing where any of it came from. The bromo with a single glance can leave you dazed for days, grasping at the threads of reality and saying, “wait, what?”

It’s uncertain how it works. It’s uncertain what it is. It can be achieved through, conceivably, perfectly normal means, but it works in such a way that you have to wonder if it’s planned chaos. Or an unplanned strip of order. Confusion, indeed.

 

The bromo is indeed a powerful entity. And this was only just a sneak peek of the powers the bromo has. What other powers can you think of the bromo having?

Our Bromo Spider-Man?

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Hey bromos and friends!

We don’t usually do this, but this blog’s been here for about two months, so we guess ‘usually’ is relative, eh? Anyway, we wanted to introduce a new (possible) bromo on the block: Miles Morales!

 

Comic fans may be aware, in the Ultimate Marvel Universe, Spider-Man has died. Miles Morales has taken his place as the new Spidey. Now bromos are a lot of things, but superhero just might be something else we can add to the roster (not that there haven’t been gay male superheroes before). It isn’t written in stone yet, though:

Another surprise could be in the pipeline after his creators said that in the future they would not rule out making him gay.

What do you guys think? The Ultimate Universe in Marvel is basically a parallel universe that re-imagines the characters from the Marvel Universe and reinterprets their stories. Spider-Man was always a white guy, so a half-Black/half-Latino possibly gay interpretation would have people from all walks of life thinking: What would be different? Maybe more of a chance that he’d get a ticket for swinging-while-Black?

I haven’t picked up a comic in quite some time, but if he’s hot I may as well it might be cool to see what’s going on in the comic-sphere. You know, see if this new Spidey is a stickler for a story time with the brotrio, or if, like the old Spidey, he was into journalism. Maybe he’s a writer who’d be willing to write for us (if he doesn’t you still can!). Or maybe part of his power set, aside from web-slinging, includes advanced forms of power play. If this is the case, let us sit and learn from the master at work! If not, we still have the sexy-fine Mystique for that!

Read more about Miles Morales as the new (possibly gay) Spider-Man here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2021563/Marvel-Comics-reveal-new-Spider-Man-black-gay-future.html

Resources for Under-styled Bromos

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It’s common knowledge that the bromo can pull off any style of clothing. If it’s wearable, even if it’s a plastic bag, it will be rocked. As we acknowledged in the last post about style and whatnot, it’s great to think outside of the box. That said, I’m going to begin investing in a charity that gives leopard print to men. Most are afraid to don the fierce cat, but I encourage everyone to embrace it…

But since that particular charity might not get tax-exempt status for one reason or another, Bromo Say What?! would like to introduce our resource page! The page, which can be found in the top navigation menu (or right here) is for the bromo who is interested in helping out, or who needs help. It’s very unfinished, considering it was just created yesterday, but soon we hope that it will flourish to include jobs and career opportunities, personal/for-a-friend help, and other such nice things that can be a help to the LGBT community.

And on that note, enjoy yer day! And don’t be hesitant to join our Facebook page (located in the right sidebar) for updates!

FALLing for Style Tips (TITLE FAIL!!)

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Model Jeremy Tang

Fall has fallen, and so have Nicki Minaj’s panties in Superbass the Northern hemisphere’s leaves—usually signaling the New Year in the world of fashion! All bromos are not as fashion-forward as Liberace, or our favorite HBICs Wilhelmina Slater and Miranda Priestly, but no one who sees us can deny that we have style that is all our own. Whether we derive our style by deviating off of current fashions, or we make it up along as we go, a bromo is always a sight to behold.

At any rate, for those of us who can’t pull off the looks seen in Vogue Magazine (or don’t want to dish out $3,000 on a pair of jeans that don’t connect to the internet or even have bluetooth—seriously?! how can people even justify the price of $90 briefs?), here are some tips from one self-describe snazzy dresser to my bromos and divas in distress!

By the way style and fashion are totally different. Style refers to your own likings and affects—the way you put together pieces of clothing and the attitude and values you attribute to your garments when you wear them. Fashion is an industry that promotes consumerism in various textile and dye areas while commodifying culture

Total Outfits
If it’s mid-to-late fall, it’s probably going to be a little nippy. A nice dark turtleneck over light corduroy pants with brown shoes (light or dark socks dependent on the overall color scheme) and a black or brown belt presents a very standard and conservative image. If you want to rebel against the hierarchy of light-dark dichromaticism, throw in a bright funky-colored belt: Leaf-colored bright orange or yellow; trying-to-hold-onto-summer sky blue—the possibilities are endless! Tuck in the turtleneck so that your admirers can see how off-the-wall, yet still classy you are. It’s the ultimate irony, and hipsters will probably be all over that next spring!

Also in the spirit of fall, but decidedly less conservative, try some animal-print pants. (I have no idea what animal-print has to do with fall, to be honest.) Leopard-print is a personal fave, but zebra or jaguar couldn’t hurt. And since you’re off the wall like a monkey at this point, a crazy graphic tee couldn’t hurt. And mix it up! If you decide on baggy pants, try for a shrunken/small/form-fitting tee. If you go with tight pants, an oversized tee makes is always eye-catching. I personally prefer a tight-on-top/baggy-on-bottom deal, but I tend to trend casual-formal events with a tight-all-over deal (tight not meaning skin-tight, but form-fitting) and casual outings with baggier apparel. Also, try accessorizing with a scarf or hat. Or, gulp, those lens-less glasses that are so “hip.”

And for the crazy folk that want to usurp Gaga Minaj as a a put-together trainwreck (however that works), go crazy and get wild. “How?” you may ask. Well, it’s a fair—after all, crazy is an acquired taste and the bravery to show your craziness is doubly rare. Well, think about this:

crazy baby whale friendsAs unbelievably lame as that is (and the fact that it took 30 minutes to make on MS Paint), by letting go, that’s when the genius within starts to shine. When you’re shopping or going through your closet, be careless and pull out things that don’t necessarily match! When you start to put them together, be reasonless and do not justify anything to yourself. Be adamant in your final choice when you find a match you like that doesn’t match. And finally, be zesty and bring some flair and attitude into your choice! whY? I dunno. That’s just how it works.

You might wind up looking like Dobby from Harry Potter, but you’ll be surprised how many people dress up like him for Halloween! And if you carry yourself proudly and boldly in your craziness (toning it down as necessary), you may just start a trend. Or even get a modeling deal, becoming the fashion world’s next IT boy. Bromo Say What?! would totally endorse you if you did!