Had To Be There


Craig: (To James) No, seriously, it was hilarious!
Adam: What was?
Craig: Sorry, Craig—H2BT.
Adam: (SMACKS) You bitches do not EXIST if I’m not there!

This is a post-H2BTSD (Had To Be There Stress Disorder) in which Adam suffers trauma and stress because Craig just pulled a H2BT.

H2BT is like symbolic glue. During a markedly moving event, it bonds those in attendance of the event together. Johnny was drunk and lied to his boyfriend and got caught and there was a yelling match? Well nobody’s going to understand why two weeks later, it’s funny to say something in a screechy voice and everyone but one person is laughing. And the moment you begin to explain, it loses the aura of exclusivity and the glue starts to unstick like some rachet chick’s acryllic. Then it’s not funny and nobody ever, ever brings it up again.

And now you’re a fun-time genocider. Good job, Hitler. Got any other joy you want to destroy?

A good Story Time can be used to add somebody to the moment post-occurrence, but don’t expect to be as in the loop as the people there. That is a privilege that you denied yourself with your absenteeism. Just sayin’.

Anyway, the H2BT Moment is a magical stretch of time. You and your bromos will forever be referencing the moment until the next one. But if the next one doesn’t come, the H2BT can get old…

Have you ever tried to get a chuckle out of some peeps by referencing something that happened eighty years ago? Some H2BTs are timeless, but most others get stale after a spell. Yes! We get it! Patricia wore some ugly fucking shoes to eight grade prom! Will you get over that shit already? She’s prettier than you!

In short, the H2BT moment can be used for a plethora of social bonding activities, including commemorating your time watching the HBIC, writing a Facebook Post that you want everybody to see but not get, and memorializing a comrade in arms who died and moved to Canada (JK Canada!! We love you Toronto and Montreal!!).


One response »

  1. Pingback: Our Bromo Adele | Bromo Say What?!

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