The Head Bitches In Charge


Why do bromos love movies like The Devil Wears Prada, or television shows like Ugly Betty? Well, it doesn’t have anything to do with the frumpy protagonists. And only a percentage of bromos have editorial/journalistic leanings (yours truly included). But bromos love them a good HBIC.

The Head Bitch In Charge is the diva of a woman who can silence anyone with a glance and who can castrate and effeminate men without even having to say a word. She doesn’t move with grace, she is fucking grace. She doesn’t flip her hair, her hair flips its fucking self! Bromos love this because it gives them something to identify with that’s sleeker in design than the bulky build of the average straight male and, frankly, more intelligent. There are two varieties I am going to tackle today.

Meryl Streep as Miranda Priestly

Miranda Priestley
You don’t get any badder than Miranda. The antagonist in The Devil Wears Prada, the mere mention of her name has bromos and everybody else too afraid to get on the elevator with her. And not only was she portrayed by Meryl Streep, Maryl Streep portrayed her.

She’s the kind of woman who hasn’t done her job if thirteen people don’t want to commit suicide by six A.M. And the best part is that she doesn’t wake up until seven! She is emotionally abusive and psychologically torturous. Even when she whispers, there’s power in it.

Bromos love Miranda because she’s a classic beauty. At age (something-or-other-older-than-fifty), she rocks her undyed naturally-white hair. She only wears designer clothes and she has cat eyes without the makeup. And let’s not get to the wit.

Bromos adore Miranda’s one liners. They don’t just adore them, they revere and copy them. If you didn’t watch that movie and say “That’s all,” in a lazy drawl after telling somebody something, you’re a dirty liar and you’re going to hell for it. Also, you can tell a bromo is lying about mimicing Miranda when they look you up and down, barely give you a scoff (in a way that says you aren’t deserving of the air they exhale) and turn away. Streep turned a normal bitchy thing to do into something that you could only do if you were touched by Heaven (or Hell, as it were).

Vanessa Williams as Wilhelmina Slater

Wilhelmina Slater
While it did not have the same audience size of The Devil Wears Prada, Ugly Betty gave us two amazing things: America Ferrera and Vanessa Williams as Wilhelmina Slater. We love us some America, but you are not a HBIC, honey. We’re gonna have to ask you to sit down.

Now Wilhelmina—OH! She is the HBIC if only because she’s conceited and she owns it. Like Miranda, she abuses her subordinates. To take it one step further, she downright humiliates them:

That said, fashionista bromos in particular love her. It might have something to do with their love for seeing the unfashionable suffer. They love how she’ll punish reduce a straight man to tears in moments, something that they aren’t necessarily able to do with one line without resorting to tedious blackmail (we love it!). And if Miranda had wit, Wilhelmina takes that to the extreme with her venom. The term “bad bitch” has been thrown around popular media lately. If anyone’s a bad bitch, it’s her. And she’s had four seasons with roughly 20 episodes each to own it. Wilhelmina has not once failed to deliver jaw-dropping schemes and one-liners to her loving audience. She is a Spartan in the truest sense of the word! [SPOILER ALERT] She even fucked Betty White over!! [/SPOILER]

I dare not ask, but who do you think trumps the other in the battle of the fashionista divas? Both actresses are amazing and both characters are devils in their own right. Both have the reputation of being bitches because our male-dominated society is not used to having women who succeed and straight up shit on them. But if you give them crowns and titles, they’ll gladly accept it. I mean, it’s more than you have, right?

*Bromomo is a total feminist.


3 responses »

  1. Pingback: Story Time | Bromo Say What?!

  2. Pingback: Had To Be There | Bromo Say What?!

  3. Pingback: Our Bromo Adele | Bromo Say What?!

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