Bromo bravery if ever I saw it! This is real leadership; it’s through example!
I’ll definitely get to posting about this and other forms of braverism and couragiosity–characteristic traits of the bromo–now this now that my senior project is starting to get out of the way…..
It’s common knowledge that the bromo can pull off any style of clothing. If it’s wearable, even if it’s a plastic bag, it will be rocked. As we acknowledged in the last post about style and whatnot, it’s great to think outside of the box. That said, I’m going to begin investing in a charity that gives leopard print to men. Most are afraid to don the fierce cat, but I encourage everyone to embrace it…
But since that particular charity might not get tax-exempt status for one reason or another, Bromo Say What?! would like to introduce our resource page! The page, which can be found in the top navigation menu (or right here) is for the bromo who is interested in helping out, or who needs help. It’s very unfinished, considering it was just created yesterday, but soon we hope that it will flourish to include jobs and career opportunities, personal/for-a-friend help, and other such nice things that can be a help to the LGBT community.
And on that note, enjoy yer day! And don’t be hesitant to join our Facebook page (located in the right sidebar) for updates!
Bromos love boyfriends. When our amazing summer shorts go out of season, a boyfriend becomes the hottest accessory around. It’s great to have something someone hanging on your arm that isn’t a Fendi or a man-bag. And unlike your pet auxiliary, this one can talk.
We’re totally overdoing it on the dehumanization of the boyfriend, but bromos tend to be more about friendship and community—a real Aquarian concept, we think. But romance exists, and prickly thought it might be, it would be great to address it, right? Well here are some of the great things about boyfriends. And don’t worry, we’ll be posting the negs afterward!
Pros
They can teach you about yourself
You probably didn’t know you hated sleeping in the same bed with someone if you aren’t having sex until your boyfriend moved in. You also probably didn’t know that you enjoyed rock music, because you didn’t have someone to sit down and listen to it with you and not let you switch the station. Boyfriends tend to have a magical effect on the bromo; we’ll give disgusting deep-fried squid kalamari a chance if the boy we’re in like/love with suggested it. He might even open your eyes to international travel, or politics, or silly cartoons, and you’ll discover these things that might have otherwise gone unnoticed.
If you are loving, trusting and careful, you might also find techniques in lovemaking that make you the happiest camper you could possibly ever be.
Risk of STD is significantly reduced
One of the great things about a boyfriend is that when you hit the sack, it is likely that you both have had a few story times and you know each other’s relationship and sexual history and health status. That said, your risk of being infected is greatly reduced. Also, if either of you is positive, you can skip the point where either of you has to reveal your status (right before thebow-chika-wow-wow) and go right into using protection (which, we argue, you should be using anyway). Also, you know what he likes and what you like, so you’re pretty much probably going to have a great time.
Loneliness Averted
Sometimes—and I know you’ve felt it too—you have a king-sized bed and nobody to share it with. You lack the warmth that comes from a person’s body and you don’t have a cute little puppy to snuggle up with. Your breath shortens and you wonder why you feel so cold in your heart and if you’re doing something wrong… But then you turn the other way and your boyfriend is there. He’s your Prince Charming, bringing warmth to animate your frozen self; he’s your Harry Potter, shooing away the dementors with his eleven inch holly wand and manly stag Protronous; he’s your boyfriend, and you won’t sleep in the cold tonight.
Don’t judge us because we’re bitter and single. Judge us because we’re judging your relationship behind our smiles and averted glances. I would say just kidding, but… ;P
Cons
Baggage
Those boys can come with more baggage than a Louis Vuitton knockoff retailer when the sweatshop went into overproduction mode! They be all slaggy and mopey about their last relationships, never having dealt with them and bringing all of their problems to you, as if you’re Jay-Z. I mean, you may have 99 problems, but why does HE have to be one? Am I right, or am I right?
He already has those bags, so he had better have that something special, that super bass (what does that even MEAN, Nicki Minaj?!) so you can help him unpack, or you can send his ass right back onto Delta: Fendi, Louis, Prada and all. I prefer my men with a decently-sized duffel, anyway.
Jealousy
Now there is no need for this one. If the dude can’t stand that you are making more money, getting ahead in a way that he isn’t, or has a special skill that he doesn’t and he can’t support you: You don’t need that. I’m usually all about giving people a chance until they step beyond the line (and then some), but this sort of attitude is poisonous. If you are with someone and he cannot support you and help you get better as you help him, then he is a dud. What’s worse is when he begins to resent you and sabotages you, or belittles you to make himself feel better.
That is an absolute no-no. Now, we don’t mean that he’s in a funk and you should dump him immediately because he’s pissy. We’re talking about the sort of state that lasts for long periods of time and it affects you negatively. If you go from being an outgoing, offbeat cutie to a solemn, second-guessing random, you best believe your brotrio will be there to help you pull a Lily Allen on that mofo!
Cheating
LMAO! I wish a motherfucker would!
Read here for foundational knowledge: The Gay Pack
The Bromo Trio draws from the strongest shape in the world: The triangle. Every part is dedicated to the support of the other two. It’s no wonder that Bromo Trios are so popular these days!
The Bromo Trio is a little different from the pack. Whereas the Gay Pack is all about power, hierarchy and how to maintain it, the Bromo Trio is about support and making sure that each of its members is well-taken care of. Think about those three magic bitches from that one show that I never got into watching where they were all pretty useless without each other needed each other. Another thing that separates the Trio from the Pack is the fluidity of duties and roles. According to the situation or time of day, someone might take charge of group’s activities while another schedules and the other plays PR for why the Fabulous Few can’t make it to your bash this weekend. Here’s the basic breakdown of the Bro-trio.
The Spunky One [The Ditzy One]
Not similar to the HBIC in a Pack, the Spunky One might find himself making most of the trio’s decisions because he tends to throw caution to the wind when he does anything and the other two find themselves tagging along to avoid being caught in the whirlwind that Mister Spunk leaves behind. He’s not bossy, just persistent.
Tom: OMG! Let’s go to Chaparral tonight! They don’t have cover charge and it’s Reggaeton Night!
Seth: Tom-Tom; it’s Chaparral—it’s Reggaeton Night, like, EVERY night.
Tom: It’s not Raggaeton Night when it’s Ballroom Night, now is it? Come on! Let’s go! If we can go I promise I’ll just dance and I won’t meet anybody!
Ash: He’s lying, but let’s just go anyway. It’ll make a great Story Time later.
The Spunky One finds himself in the leader’s position because, quite frankly, he’s got the most random ideas and the others can’t resist having a little bit of fun getting a taste of the fantastic. He’s not the best at planning out the day for the utmost efficiency, but he will damn sure give you a great reputation for perkiness and an upbeat attitude if you let him play PR manager. Side not: The Spunky One should be accounted for at all times, lest he go home with some rand-o.
The Cool One [The Aloof One]
There’s usually one that won’t talk much. Now this might be a permanent position for one or it might be situational, but there’s one that will be rather aloof when the other two are talking about something. He doesn’t feel left out (unless it’s habitual, in which case it becomes neglect and ya’ll need to work that shit out) but he keeps his silence and figures out interesting quarks about the other two. He’s pretty logical and collected generally and won’t put up much resistance to whatever plans the other two are advocating loudly for. By the same token, he will expect to have enough leeway to make a choice that benefits him in return without a peep of opposition from the other two. Allow him this indulgence; it’s only fair.
As there are three people, it is assumed that there would be a case where two have a common interest and the third doesn’t share that, but the third has common interests with each of them that they do not share with the other. And that’s just how it is. The Cool One is usually the first to own up to something and dare you to challenge him..
When the Cool One is in the leader’s chair, you might find that there’s no need for someone to schedule/plan the events because he’s level-headed enough to do it himself (as opposed to the Spunky One, who definitely needs someone to organize stuff). As PR manager, he’ll give your Trio an aura of exclusivity, making everyone want to be with you or be you. And he works the room by making everybody walk to him rather than the other way around. The Cool One is a BOSS.
Though you might want to beware with this one. While he is very competent and capable, he is prone to not doing shit thanks to his inherent “whatever factor.” I swear I was going to get the tickets for cheap tonight… but then I was just like… whatever… An example (from Avatar Wikia): Mai was next seen where she had apparently been ordered to guard the Earth King’s pet bear, Bosco, but did not care enough about her assignment to attempt to stop Sokka, Toph, and the Earth King from retrieving the pet. She was so bored and restless from her duty that she let Toph, Sokka and The Earth King escape with the bear, stating, “Just take the bear” (read: “Do I look like somebody who gives a fuck hoot?”)
The Focused One [The Bitchy One/ The Normal One]
There’s always that one that is going to come off as a bitch or (not to normalize the bitch) the ‘normal’ one. Even if he isn’t a bitch, if the other two are sweet and cuddly, the Focused One becomes the de facto bitch. By the same token, however, he is also likely to be considered the least extreme between Mister Spunky and Mister Cool because he’d probably play it straight and be the heart that connects the heady Aloof and the hands-on Ditz.
The way the Focused One is defined is pretty situational with every Trio, as he is usually the difference between the Spunky One and the Cool One. He’s the most versatile as he has to keep up with them both at their different paces.
He’s great as a leader because he has both extremes on either hand to weigh the pros and cons of every idea and decision. And even if the Spunky One winds up making the most decisions, the Focused One usually has the foresight and leadership to make every entrance noticeable and every exit memorable. As the scheduler, he’s still probably going to be second behind the Cool One, but he can sustain interest in doing tasks whereas the Cool One has to deal with the “whatever factor” (the Cool One is most apt to disdaining most everything that can be disdained).
As the PR manager, he can get people to pay attention that otherwise wouldn’t. The Spunky One can easily channel the energy of everyone who is easily excitable, but can turn off those who are pretty chill. The Cool One can rub shoulders with other shoulder shruggers, but be seen as too uninteresting for the Ooh Shiny crowd. The Focused One can draw interest from the margins of both crowds and more than likely people who wouldn’t be swayed by anyone.
The Bromo trio is one part simple, one part solid, and one part sexy and it’s spread equally among each of the members. It isn’t rare to find that within the Trio, two might be tighter and the third either has a boyfriend on the side or is part of another group. That’s just how the fortune cookie crumbles.
And if you’re wondering why this posts’ pics have been centered around Avatar: The Last Airbender, well bromos love it, so therefore, so do I The Legend of Korra is coming out soon and I’m totally stoked! My Trio and I will be in attendance of the premiering episode in November 2011! Totes can’t wait!
And don’t forget to ADD US ON FACEBOOK for more updates! Special guest writer soon! 🙂
Bromos love mixes. Whether it’s a mixed drink, a party with mixed company, or looking at sexy ambiguously mixed men and completely objectifying them by attempting to itemize their ethnic characteristics and ultimately deciding if he’s just ethnic enough so that you can bring him home to the parents oggling them, bromos don’t do anything on the straight or narrow. That said, we found this beautiful mix of songs great for starting our pregame this evening.
It’s a house/dance mix of massively popular songs from earlier this year put together by Youtube user DJHennerz.
This is an electro/house mix for the real party. Break it out only once that party has started. And the visuals are pretty great too. So if you party with a projector, you’re in luck! This reminds me, I want to throw a gay night at our school’s night club. I think it would be a lot of fun! Or the room might work—that way, we can have real cocktails with only a portion of the judging!
We know, we know, bromos break the mold and expectations like J. Lo breaks hearts, but one thing is certain: From the tiniest twink to the most ‘roided gym bunnie, we love our divas. They’re like the fruit flies who we can stick into our iPods and have story time with in the shower (don’t act like I’m the only one who sings sad songs about being alone in the shower!!)
Beyonce
Bromos love them some Beyonce. Beyonce’s “thing” even while being a part of Destiny’s step Child was to talk about how hard she worked. And when that got old, she got everybody else to talk about how hard she worked. With the amount of talent she has, she was making damn sure that nobody chalked it up to good genetics in the voice department for her to be able to belt out notes with that powerhouse voice. And it worked. Even her nickname, “Bee”, corresponds to her hard work.
But bromos love her because we can feel as if we worked hard even if we just listened to her and danced the night away, screeching lip-syncing her music. Not going to lie, her acting isn’t all that great, but nobody can deny that the woman can SANG! We also feel like she gives us many H2BT moments, like when she fell offstage on tour that one time and it’s totally on youtube sang especially good well that one time and topped herself.
Lady Gaga
This chick made it OK to go out dressed in shit we found around the garage. Bromos were already creative, but Gaga inspired the creative spirit in those who might’ve been too afraid otherwise. Call her manufactured, a sellout, an Illuminati witch, a blasphemer, whatever; the fact that you have a deeply-seeded personal opinion about this woman should show how much reach she has.
And that’s not all! Along with Nicki Minaj (see below), she gave relatively normal children license to act psychotic and deranged. Last time I checked, clawing the air and thinking you had claws got you an A for creativity in kindergarten, or another dose of whatever they were giving you in the insane asylum. But I’m just sayin’.
Adele
Bitch, we know, we know. Rumour has it that we rolling in the deep while turning tables; don’t you remember when we set fire to the rain because he wont go after we told him to take it all? We get it already!
Adele is a humble diva who ain’t gettin’ another mention on this blog for a month! I swear, we might as well have been her PR team, we promoted that ass so good. Betch got me talkin’ like I’m with the gurls. Ugh. Anyway, we love her and that’s all you need to know.
Nicki Minaj
This chick made it OK for little white bromos to join the soft-core rap scene and not be stared at like a curious object by the Black and Latino bromos in the club. Just be careful cos that tricky lady laid down some landmines that you might not want to step on if you’re not behind locked doors. Though, for that matter, why would anyone want to step on a landmine?
Anyway, she’s got like a billion personalities that all come out at different times to handle their various businesses, making Nicki like a medium or something. What differentiates her from Gaga aside from the ginormous ass and rapping ability is her total immersion in fashion. Gaga wears Diet Coke cans in her hair because it’s ‘cool’. Nicki wears stuff that would make you wonder what the hell drug you’re on because she can. Not hating on Gaga, but Nicki ups the ante LIKE A DUNGEON DRAGON.
Janelle Monae
So, she’s edgy, but not so much so over the edge that she’s caught in a bad romance or feeling like a dungeon dragon. No, no, she’s much classier than that. Donning tuxedos and a pompadour that only she can rock, Janelle Monae is at the top of her class. Bromos love her because she’s real and she’s smart.
Her music has meaning and it really comes from her heart; and if you’ve ever seen her perform… Well… *GUSH*
Anyway, Janelle is like the tightrope she sings about. She’s amazing and artistic, but she’s so cool and down to earth that you wouldn’t be embarrassed going to her concert and being seen there (if Gaga and Minaj weren’t industry-pushed, you wouldn’t be caught dead listening to their flat-ass lyrics and you know it).
So it’s been three weeks since the creation of Bromo Say What?!, and I am blessed by the heavens and thankful to have met so many wonderful people who encouraged and showed interest in working with me in this short period of time. One in particular (Unikorna at Why I Wake Up Every Day) believed in me and bestowed upon me this blog award: The 7×7 Link Award. Upon being awarded, you fill out the following information and pass the award to those you think deserve it. :3 (It made my last two days VERY awesome!)
The Most Beautiful Post
College – This was my first post and the establishment of the bromo as an identity outside of usage with my one of my testie-besties. I think this was before I decided to make the mission of BSW more about helping than about observing the bromo in all his incarnations. I call this the beautiful one because it was unadulterated by the idea of activism. Just a pure observation.
The Most Helpful Post
Volunteering – There is nothing better than giving up time to better your community, and we bromos have it down to a science. We know what it’s like to not have things—material, emotional or otherwise—and so if we can give someone time or labor, we evolve as people and make the world a little brighter.
The Most Popular Post
Owning It – I think this speaks to what the blog was intended for: Confidence. We all have flaws, but we have to be able to work on them or have the courage to—dare I say it—accept ourselves as we are. Bromo Say What?! is all about confidence-building.
The Most Controversial Post
“Fat.” Yeah, I said it. – It’s controversial because the body is not something you talk about unless it’s the way the societal discourse dictates that you do. Unless reflects the way Vogue or Cosmo would have the reader believe the body should look like, the body is passed over or ridiculed. I say fuck that.
The Most Surprisingly Successful Post
“Fat.” Yeah, I said it. – I think this fits into this category as well because Bromo Say What?! doesn’t get that much attention. Upon advertising this particular post, the blog’s stats shot up from the usual 3 or 4 views to 38 (a lot for me), I got comments on the site and Facebook comments, as well as a friend who offered to help write!
The Most Underrated Post
Ken: Out & Proud – I know it’s just a doll, but Ken has so much symbolism in his own right, not just juxtaposed next to Barbie. He was intended to represent masculinity, but the amount of gay jokes he gets is astounding. That pic-post I think has soooooo much underlying symbolism just waiting to be unpacked.
The Most Pride-Worthy
Ani-Bromo – I love leopards. They say something to me that no other animal (or human) can. They convey a primal instinct to be successful despite not being the smartest, the strongest or the most beautiful. They just adapt to whatever their situation is and go on from there.
And now here’s the part where it get’s great! I can stop talking about my stuff and lead readers to amazingness! I bestow this award
Andy at Tisdel’s Tirades
Willa at Refugee
Betch at Betches Love This Site
The Unknown Author of My MANy Bags
Katie at College & Other Pesky Things!
And I know this is not a traditional blog and that I’ve already used up my five award slots, but I would like to also add Mickey/Todd of Mickey Elliott Blog . He’s consistently hilarious and awful sweet! I am so thankful to have been given this award, and I hope it serves as inspiration to others to continue. Also, I hope I’ve led you to awesome blogs! :3
Adele. Uh-del. Uh-Dayle. Uh-Dee-Lee. Betch is a fuck’n BOSS.
Bromos love us some Adele. She is a staple for our best H2BT moments at the bar when the drag queen is doing her thing on stage. And anyone who says they haven’t sang “Rumor Has It” in the shower after hearing it twice is a dirty liar and should be put to death in the most painful way possible.
Shavonna B Brooks: HBIC Drag Queen. Click pic for more info
Adele is as big and bad as she wants to be. At Bromo Say What?! we encourage people to see past appearances, but we don’t condone social blindness. We encourage owning it. That said, Adele gives comfort to the people who aren’t stick-thin anorexic, and who know they are amazing despite their size if they happen to not be able to fit into a size zero or 28, as is the case for me.. I WANTED THOSE SKINNY JEANS!!! UGH…. Anyhoozle, we absolutely love her here. She is amazingly talented, she’s beautiful, and if we could, we would be her. Seriously. We would be her.
(We’re going to lay off Rolling in the Deep for now. We know it’s going to be a timeless classic as you down your beers and appletinis, but right now, it’s time on the radio needs to stop. Can we get a Resting in the Deep?)
She’s most commonly compared to the late Amy Winehouse, a bad ass female bromo who has recently joined the 27 Club, because Americans don’t seem to know any other female British singers of her soulful cadence and ability to drive forward and do what she wants. Both have/had beautiful voices and, as we’ve just now realized, very thick hair.
In fact, the only thing we hate more than somebody fucking up her songs during karaoke is when Kidz Bop has those annoying children covering her. Child, you are seven; what deep are you rolling in? Seriously, bitch?! WHAT DEEP?! Never have I wanted admittance into the Slap-a-ho tribe than I do when I see a Kidz Bop commercial… Wow, what a note to end on, eh?
So, I thought I’d move off the beaten path a bit to talk about something random. Bigger and better than anything you ever knew, is my favorite animal: The Leopard.
Not only great for providing inspiration for bags and shoes (I’m still looking for an affordable pair, but if you’re of means, hop on over to a fellow leopard-print lover to check out these beauties below),
Leopards are amazingly bomb-tastic. They are adaptable and can live anywhere from the tip of South Africa to the coast of Morocco. And they aren’t only on the African continent. They span through the middle east, South Asia, and all the way into Far East Asia into Korea.
Many people have animals that they identify with and call on to gather strength during tough times. When I’m trying to own something, I call on the leopard. Those who know it know that it is rather solitary and private. The leopard prefers to sit away and observe; they would rather know what is going on before jumping into anything like some kind of n00b. Always go in with a plan, a kill move, and at least three exit strategies. But by the way bitches be wearin’ it like it’s their job, you’d think the leopard were a common beast.
The leopard is NOT a common beast, nor is it a common whore. That pussy is expensive! 😉
Another thing the leopard excels at is patience. In the wild, a leopard will literally stalk prey for hours without moving, waiting for the right time to strike in an explosive display of speed and power. What’s even more, they’re cunning and adaptive. In order to take down a member of a zebra herd, one leopard was reported to have rolled around in mud and elephant dung in order to conceal its scent, and while stalking the herd, actually played dead, waiting for it’s target to come closer! That’s what I’m talking about! (Minus the poop.)
The bromo would be shrewd to imitate the leopard’s qualities. Leopards are the smallest of the big cats, but are no means the most helpless. In fact, it’s their size and mental strength that gives them the edge over bigger animals like the football players lions and tigers. Talk about real power play!!
“Chimpanzees is hatin’ but I take it all in stride.” -Nicki Minaj, Till the World Ends (Remix)
Bromos can be a hot mess. Believe it or not, humans: We are not ideal (even if we’re as close to idyllic as they come). That said, one thing that the bromo excels at is owning things.
We aren’t talking about having possession of something; we’re talking about taking responsibility. Everybody has flaws, and they like to hide them and disguise them. The bromo is the same way. But the bromo, often being the object of society’s scrutiny, might have a harder time than most due to the many eyes that are on them at any given moment. Take a picture; it’ll last longer.
That said, we bromos have discovered the perfect way to accommodate anyone who has anything negative to say: Own that shit!
H8r: OMG, you are so fat.
Bromo: That’s right. Now help a fat bitch out and get me some milk n’ cookies.
Play it up. If what the person says is true and you know it, take responsibility for it and set yourself free from personal purgatory. If you aren’t fooling anybody, stop trying to fool yourself.
Hell, even if what the person says isn’t true, it’s still a great way to get the burn on them in a stunning display of power play.
H8r: I f*cked your mom last night.
Bromo: I know; I left the door unlocked so you didn’t have to find the keys. Was it good?
The opposite of fault is not blame, it’s responsibility. The bromo carries himself in such a way that petty insults by non-bromos are irrelevent. Even other bromos can’t hold a candle to the bromo that takes a load without having to dish it back. (If that sentence meant anything other than what it sounded like, you’re a dirty sinner and we love you for it.)
We at Bromo Say What?! want to remind our readers that this site is primarily an exaggerated version of various gay male lifestyles in the hopes that we can somehow uplift teens and young adults’ spirits if they happen to be going through a rough time with regards to their sexualities. We know what it’s like to be repressed, afraid, apprehensive, and depressed because of what our friends and, more importantly, our families may think. We also know what it’s like to experience the joy that comes with acceptance and affirmation when you have the freedom to choose who you can surround yourself with. We know that it’s tough hearing “it gets better when you grow older.” That’s great, but what about now? You deserve to have a high quality of life no matter what your age is and what you identify as.
Other than that, there’s not much we can tell you in this read-by-everyone post. But we can say that here at Bromo Say What?!, you will always have a little home online with uplifting messages, satirical posts, and most of all, love. Not the hot and steamy stuff that we reserve for the bedroom, but the kind that will embrace you no matter what you look like, what you weigh, what you wear, what your ethnicity is, what your gender status is, who you love, who you vote for, and all that jazz.
In conclusion, we did not mean to get so randomly involved that way, but there you have it. We love you, we’re writing this for you, and we’re owning it. If you enjoy what you read, follow us on Facebook and Twitter and share us with your friends who need to hear what we have to say. Also, leave comments below! We enjoy love too!! We hope we’re putting smiles on your faces, so when you see your friends’ eyes light up, you’ll be glad you did. </mushy-stuff>.
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